musings and whatnots

i feel rather poetic today.

the sky swirls in a color of gray and blue. clouds graze through with a hint of storm. oh such a cold picture in such a sad atmosphere. the paved sidewalks with the illuminating yellow warmth of the lightposts make the drops visible in the midevening glow. i see some of the people with umbrellas, while others were bare and drenched and cursing. i hear the wheels of the car against the water, horns overpowering the trickle of the rain. i see the stoplights change, from green to orange to red. cold. melancholic. nostalgic. a stream of thoughts rush through me as i took a sip from my already cold afternoon coffee. i feel sick, i say to myself. no, no dearest. you are sick. and it's not because of my damned weak resistance to cough and colds. no, i'd rather have that, really [and i do]. i just feel sick on the gut inside, like, my organs were messed and twisted up as if a kid from cab scout practiced knot tying on me. it was choking me. [and tearing up my heart]. jaded and stubborn, i shove this thought away. God, if i had a delete button somewhere in my head, it would've been overused by now. sighing, i reached for my thick physics book and started reading.

this is just another relapse.