i used to have that growing fire in my heart, the way a small match could light up the black ink of night. and in the different corners of different rooms, it used to give hope emitted by a faint warmth that was never to burn or hurt anyone. it gave other people something to believe in--it gave me something to believe in.

i've seen it die countless of times, as every fire has its last breath of ember and smoke. and consumed by doubt, hesitation and fear, i find it hard to strike a match again. i find it harder to look inside for the kind of passion that touches people's hearts and make them have faith in something called life. why we all breathe and hurt and love and do the things we do. why our lives depend on the chances we take and leaps of faith, and why we start dying when we turn our backs from everything. why all these depend on what we want for ourselves and what we really think we deserve more than anything else.

and i wish and pray and hope for it. hope that someday soon, i'll be able to understand the reason why the last flame died inside my chest. pray that it would be brighter when i find it again, as the sun with the cloudless sky gives a feeling of freedom and clarity to anyone who would take their time to stop and breathe it all in. wishing that this time, the light would stay longer, burn longer, and live longer.

now here i go again.

i almost can't describe what it felt like.

the bright lights of yellow, green and blue. guitars clashing, the drums and voices echoing through the four walls of the tent, seeing the bands work their magic through the crowd, seeing people be so absorbed in listening to the music and lyrics all night--seeing something that lights in people's eyes. i could honestly say, it was all worth it. every blood, sweat and tear shed--just everything.

and having someone take their time to thank you knowing that yes, i somehow helped make a difference in their Friday night, that was just additional icing to the whole cake.

thank you, for those who supported the event. the volunteers, friends, and even those i didn't know. thanks for the bands for their undying love to share their music to the world (April Morning Skies, Fireplace Letters, Kastigo, The Dawn, Callalily). thanks to those who danced, modeled and hosted. thanks to God for the strength and passion in those four months.

i can't wait to do that again.<3

karma. karma. karma.

and i got the half-bad side of it. SIGH.

status: currently sick and stressing out.

Godhelpme.

So here's the deal:

Rock Up the World Concert by 60th and 62nd ENG

featuring bands like, THE DAWN, Soapdish, Callalily, KASTIGO, April Morning Skies and many more!

tickets are sold at 200. inclusive of free entrance at Prince of Jaipur (Fort Boni) with free drinks! (who'd not want that eh?)

this isn't just a concert. it's a benefit concert regarding environmental issues (specifically trees). we empower each individual to take action through this event. every ticket you buy equals a tree named and planted after you, or someone you love or hate or whatever. so if you love your trees, rock it up with this concert and show your support!