Sometimes all it takes to get your head out of dangerous deep waters is a good step back.. which is why keeping little tokens or reminders for yourself every now and then is not such a bad idea.

Tomorrow's the day!

People will be swarming at Starbucks again for that familiar red cup! I don't know about you but something about the drink does really make me all Chirstmas-y.:)

I better prepare my wallet for some burning.*o*

The wonderful view at the Sirena clifftop restaurant in Shangri-La Boracay. Thanks dad and mom!:)

I don't quite remember when or how it started. How change seems to fall into our laps ever so often now like  the crisp brown leaves of an old tree brushing against the wind. It was several years back when i used to run  around school in full uniform, with blisters on my knees and dirt on my cheeks; a few years ago when i had to wait anxiously at the hallway of the university for grades that did not mean as much as i thought they would. Then it was about 12 months past when i took the boards that entitled me to the word 'Engineer', which i have not--and in most probability--will never get use.

And here i am now, in an office desk among others, working in an industry i swore to myself countless of times that i'll never enter. Conversations with old friends revolve around the lines of the 'future' or how-things-have-changed or how people have. Somewhere in between I've resigned myself to the reality that contradictions are as familiar as any other circumstance i could stumble upon, that nostalgia gradually becomes a word used often at two in the morning as one gets older, and that working people are the hardest to get a hold of. and around those various realizations i have, by some means, forgotten what it was like to be amazed at how so many, many things are different now more than ever. That eager, restless emotion that i used to feel at the start of every school year has quickly turned into a quiet acceptance. The days and nights spent are segmented into trivial routines of this and that; into needs instead of wants or dreams.

It makes me wonder if anyone else feels the need to break free from this shell of conformity to the rules of society. to understand that money, or success do not mean much for a life unlived. and i am now resolved to find a balance in things. to recognize limits, and never cross unless there is a need to do so. to know the word 'enough' varies from people to people, but that it should be what it plainly is--sufficient, adequate, just right. Mostly, i just want to feel content with what i have at the end of the day. Honestly, simply, just content.

Wishful Wednesdays: Halloween Edition

Bonjour etranger! I'm back with another post of Wishful Wednesdays Halloween Edition! We don't celebrate it here as much as other countries, but it doesn't stop me from hoping we did! And yes, i should be coming up with a meaningful entry soon, but that is  reserved for another day.:)

1. Pumpkin Spice Latte! Whenever i stumble i almost always see a review or recipe on  how to make a Pumpkin Spice Latte. This calls for a good coffee shop hunt on the drink.

2. Who doesn't love Halloween inspired cupcakes? They're just so cute and yummy to look at!

3. If i had my own place, i'll make sure to put in some few Halloween decors, like this one below.

4. And lastly, Trick o' Treat! Barely experienced one when i was a kid, now i'm hoping i could accompany a young relative to share the goods with. haha!:)

Better overdue than never

Bonjour etranger! it has been.. way too long since my last post and i wish i could say some reason other than the classic writer's block, but it was just so. i have actually been trying to write a story for a while now but when i reached the sixth page of the notebook, it wasn't there anymore: the inspiration, the drive, the story itself. You know what it's like when you're trying to memorize something and refuse to have anything else go to your mind other than the thing you memorized? well it was like that. i didn't want to write anything else for the fear of losing the flow of the story completely. i still don't have it back by the way. but i do hope i will one of these days.

And this here is my latest doodle. It's kind of like the frustration of my ideas all bundled up in a big piece of clothing.

It is pretty and cool to look at though.:)

Words from someone who knows what he's writing

“There are only two worlds – your world, which is the real world, and other worlds, the fantasy. Worlds like this are worlds of the human imagination: their reality, or lack of reality, is not important. What is important is that they are there. these worlds provide an alternative. Provide an escape. Provide a threat. Provide a dream, and power; provide refuge, and pain. They give your world meaning. They do not exist; and thus they are all that matters.” ~Neil Gaiman, The Books of Magic

A few rules writers should know about..

Have a good Monday everybody!:)

Here We Go - Mat Kearney & Counting The Stars - Augustana Doodles

as promised on this post!

[Here We Go - Mat Kearney] A lot of things go through my mind when i hear this song. Mostly things in motion: the rows of streetlights going by, an old film reeling on a white backdrop, ferris wheels, bicycle wheels, you name it. I think it's because the song talks about the cycles of circumstance; how moments in life get repeated in a different year, or a different face. it's bittersweet: the hope that comes with second chances, or the fear of repeating past mistakes. it can go either way.

[Counting Stars - Augustana]

i can't get the colors right on the camera for the first drawing, and i'm too lazy to use the DSLR. so there. lol.

Have a Happy Tuesday everybody!:)

Mondays are for Music

what usually keeps me sane through the week (other than massive amounts of food, sweets, and coffee) are my trusty headphones glued to my ears, and of course, the music that comes out of it. here are my current favorites for the past few days.

Mat Kearney - Here We Go, Breathe In Breathe Out, Never Be Ready

Anna Nalick - Breathe (2 am)

Bettie Serveert - Attagirl

Christ August - You Make Me Sing, Battle

Bright Eyes - At The Bottom Of Everything

i actually made a doodle about Mat Kearney's song, Here We Go (which i will post within the week since i was not able to take a picture of it). i think it's a good exercise for anyone who knows how to draw to incorporate a song into a sketch or any image that comes out of their minds while listening to the music. it's also good fun. :)

Of streetlights and stop signs

maybe decisions would be easy to make had the road to the 'right choice' been illuminated like the warm yellow lamp posts of a seemingly endless highway. you know you're going somewhere, and most of all, you know how to go back.

To Comment Or... Nevermind

i've been giving it a thought, and finally decided to enable commenting on this blog for a while to see how it goes. ever since i switched from Xanga to Blogger, i decided to leave the comment part where my old blog was since only registered Xanga users were able to leave comments(in short, frustrated writers or writers or bloggers or whatever). and boy, did i enjoy my conversations with them. it rarely was about the praise (although i admit, one of the reasons i disabled blogspot comments was because of my dislike of unhealthy criticism or spam), it was about interaction. it's like having your very own twin because they strung thoughts where mine ended, and made beautiful short proses out of the blue. i discovered amazing writers there, made friends with a few. it was a big comfort knowing other people felt what i felt. and wrote in the same way. :)

below are several of those comments, i suggest visiting their sites as well. it always was a pleasure to read works from these lovely people.:)

from atsixesandsevens who has been for a very long time since i started blogging, one of my favorite bloggers. he's also leaves very beautiful comments (even now), all of which i loved and taken to heart. i imagine coffee+conversations with him would be pretty awesome. too bad he lives a thousand miles away.= |

"It's kind of like watching a cigarette get flicked from a car on the freeway;

A dazzle of sparks and ash for one brief, brilliant moment, and then nothing at all."

"I like it. Lumps in the throat and words not coming out and everything. Because I think most of the major realizations in our lives come out of moments like that."

"sometimes the simplest things, in the simplest ways, remind you to take a step back and appreciate this life and this world for 
what it is. i really, really liked this. glad you made it 
through finals. :)"

"i think it's much easier to feel alone than it is to realize 
that people care for you.

it also makes for better writing."

"you can't imagine someone back to who they used to be.

that's what this makes me say, as i shake my head.

because it's such a familiar feeling."

from Perdedor

"Let's pretend we're not needy. Let's pretend our hearts still 
beat.

Let's pretend we fall in love tonight, clumsy enough to fall for anything."

from lank-and-lost

"I don't know what comfort you can take from knowing you're not alone in your affliction, but most of my life I've felt the same way. I still do. It makes me wish I had something intelligent to say but I can't really answer the question for myself either.

Still, there are so many little things that keep me interested 
that Even when I feel that constant lack of motivation holding myback to the wall like gravity, I feel contented to be living in 
the moment even if I'm not going anywhere. I know I have to breakthe habit as I'm not entirely pleased with the reactionary way 
I've been living or where it has got me.

If only I had a little push."

from isah

"sanity. what we all wish for, yet it seems so surreal. the temptation of being what we were

before lingers on.."

from degrees-of-sanity and life-complicated

it's a short post answering a question. might do this again one day. look it up here.

from amoensia

"a promise is real, the very exact moment it was made. one second after, it will vanish to therealm of memories. none of it will be real anymore. how ironic. because we tend to live and move on with the promises made and broken. convincing ourselves it WAS real."

"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering." -Paulo Coelho

from tolv

"the stars can't be trusted."

***

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."  ~Anaïs Nin

bonjour etranger! it's Monday again and it means another week of work and more work for lots of people. and since i'm still not giving up on keeping this blog alive, i'll just post some of my doodles i've drawn for the past few weeks.

this doodle is actually a Neil Gaiman inspired drawing. i kind of remember his unkempt hair and how it still looks heavenly on him. good thing it looked good on this drawing too. the lettering here is more or less how Delirium's (from the Sandman series) conversation font is portrayed in the graphic novel, minus the crazy rainbow colors that is.

i use technical fineline pens for most of my doodles. i discovered them early in college during my graphing class when my brother suggested them to me. they're affordable unlike those bigtime sketching pens and they don't smear (which is like, an artist's worst nightmare). the best part is that they come in 6 different line widths, ranging from 0.05mm to 0.8mm. i use the 0.1mm and 0.3mm pens, i've yet to buy the 0.05mm mostly cause it's elusive. these pens are usually available at any National Bookstore branch.

i'll probably make a bigger version of the last one if i have the time.:) who knows, it might sell!

have a happy week ahead people!:)

Wishful Wednesdays: Bedroom Edition

Bonjour and welcome to Wishful Wednesdays Bedroom Edition! :)

one of the favourite things i like to do when i have loads of free time is designing my room. it started a few years back when i had this urge to paint the walls and my closet and doors. then came the trinkets: the wooden map box for my books, the blue lava lamp, the ceramic black convertible figurine, the plaster of paris venetian-like mask and so on. here are a few others i reaaally wish i could afford or find to put in my room.

1. Floor-to-ceiling bookshelf+Nook. i would never leave my room had i this in it.

2. This chic birdcage lamp would look great next to my bed.

3. Or to this bed! i love the details on this four poster bed. it makes me think of forests and birds and leaves and not getting up for work.=D

4. If i can't have the birdcage lamp i'll settle for this intricate white birdcage and put yellow christmas lights inside!

maybe i was an interior designer or something in my past life. :) happy Wednesday everyone!

you know what goes well with rainy days other than delicious bittersweet hot coffee? a kick-ass playlist of songs to induce musings!

A Sorta Fairytale - Tori Amos

Wednesday - Tori Amos

Gold Dust - Tori Amos

For Blue Skies - Strays Don't Sleep

The Blues - Switchfoot

Where I Stood - Missy Higgins

Ashes and Wine - A Fine Frenzy

Remembering Sunday - All Time Low

The Reason Why - Rachael Yamagata

Breathe Again - Sara Bareilles

23 - Jimmy Eat World

Half Life - Duncan Sheik

Light Years Away - MoZella

Lose You - Pete Yorn

New American Classic - Taking Back Sunday

Run - Snow Patrol

Twenty Years - Augustana

We Might Fall - Ryan Star

Yet - Switchfoot

enjoy. :)

Wishful Wednesdays

we're always thinking it only happens in the books or in the glossy backdrop of a movie screen, or to someone who's a friend of a friend of our friends. we're always trying to compromise circumstance by justifying that there's going to be 'still some time left'. there's no need to rush--there's the next twenty-four hours right there, swiveling around the corner. or that there's about 2 short years to wait til' you stand up, pack your bags and really start living without the world dictating that it's better to be practical than to be idealistic. that it's the people who have a 3-months-worth-of-work of a handbag who are happier and content than those who are just simply happy, period. we're always thinking that bridges won't suddenly collapse under our feet, that the car will take us to the destination unscathed, or that we will keep waking up to a brand new day.. but it rarely is the case. we fail to realize how much of a fragile thing our lives really are.

and it's not just because i'm Wishful this Wednesday. it's probably one of the things people don't quite ask for but really need. it's something we all need.

time.

YES! found a moleskine-like notebook that i can doodle on! it's also a LOT cheaper than the moleskine. bry, lets see who can fill up the pages first!:D

matt said i have too many dreams. which, he said is a good thing, rather than having none at all. i am seriously considering his suggestion about a travel blog. i feel it from the bottom of my heart that it's one of the things i'm definitely sure i want to do. i want to travel. i want to write and i want to draw and i want to make sense of the wonders of life in words, or in pictures.

Wishful Wednesdays

it's Wednesday[again??] people! that means another installment of Wishful Wednesdays! *insert bubbly intro music here*

1. Red Velvet Cake! or just cake for that matter. They say Mary Grace's Velvet Cake is ♥. hmmm. i oughta buy some soon.

2. This riiing. The cut, the color, the vintage-y feel. I've always loved sea colored stones. they remind me so much of the beach.
3. This vintage sewing machine. i don't mind this taking up space in my room. more so if it comes with the innate talent of making clothes.

Have a happy Wednesday everyone!

goodbyes seem to always leave a bitter taste in the mouth. it's like all the million things people should've said before the parting get jumbled up and rolled around on the tongue in an undesirable manner. and most of the words don't come out right, or they don't come out at all.:(

Hello, Thoughtful Thursdays.

there's something about the color of the skies. something about the damp sting of the cold summer air. it's the way the road looks after it's been drenched with the rain. or the faint glow of the lamp posts against the grey of the buildings and the cars revving by. it makes me remember things buried in between the pages of tattered notebooks and paper napkins. there used to be piles of those leaves strewn carelessly in my room. the sketches, phrases, sentences. words used to come so easily when it rains.

Wishful Wednesdays

bonjour entranger! this is the first series of [hopefully] many Wishful Wednesdays where i share random stuff i'd love to have at the moment, or i have been wanting to have for a long looong time. so for this particular rainy-gray-cloud-Wednesday, i've been wishing to have..

some piping hot, bittersweet, creamy coffee! preferably the Hazelnut coffee of Bag of Beans, especially on days like these. i honestly believe coffee was invented for the rainy season. they just compliment each other like sunny days and lemonade, or a good playlist and road trips. you get the idea.

and it wouldn't hurt to have coffee in a place like this.

give me some paper and pen and i'm already good to go.:)

there's nothing like a complete Sunday rest with the whole family to rejuvenate the mind and soul.♥ i also miss my violin-in-the-morning-go-to-antique-stores-and-discover-cool-stuff-in-the-afternoon Saturdays. plus i miss spare time on weekdays that i spend with friends. in short, i'm missing a lot of stuff right now. buuuut, i know my hectic days will be over as soon as this project is done. yay!

so i was raving about the apps of my LG phone at one time. and here's a late discovery of 2 other camera apps for your Andoid phone:

Camera360 App. this has some effects that are non-existent with the Vignette Demo camera app. I like the warm tones of their effects because its easy on the eyes and it gives off this sunny-happy feeling.

roidizer App. honestly, there are other camera apps with better effects than this app. but this one can put labels (with some choices for fonts) on your shots! and the polaroid fan that i am can't help but allot some few megabytes of memory for this baby. so there.:)

you can check out other apps here. have happy Monday everyone!

and despite the stress of work, i can still say that i can smile and be giddy on simple things like opening up my lunch bag and finding out my father asked the kasambahay to include 1 Starbucks brownie and pandesal with my lunch, and my mother urging me to bring the Lord Stow's cookie brittle(or whatever you call it) even though it's her favorite. i ♥ them both!!!!:)

quote time!

"Music is a total constant. That’s why we have such a strong visceral connection to it, you know? Because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, or a place, or even a person. No matter what else has changed in your or the world, that one song says the same, just like that moment." ~Sarah Dessen

we all wear our anxieties oh so well.

found and instantly fell in love with it ! now if only i have the money..

these pictures made my morning. hohoho!

last picture FTW! you can see the rest here.

why i ♥ my Android LG p500(yes, it is yet, another list):

• Upgradable OS = added features
• The Android Market. need i say more?
• Themes! Which is one of the factors i look into when buying a phone
• Widgets. Just like the ones on your computer desktop. how cool is that?!
• The Advanced Task Killer App. die unused apps, die!
• The Bloggeroid App which instantly connects me here to my site
• The StumbleUpon App. if other people Tweet, i Stumble.
• The Vignette Demo Camera App. a must-have for any Android phone and picture enthusiast
• The Pokedroid App. A Pokedex in your very own phone. No, i'm not kidding.
• ROM Emulator App. Pokedex + Emulator = Pokemon til the wee hours of the morning.

the picture above is an easy DIY vertical garland for your curtains that i did in about less than an hour (blame it on the surge of creativity and me missing designing my room). all you need is some string, scissors, cardboard paper with your color of choice and scotch tape. have a great Tuesday ahead people!

working for 8 days straight and counting. breaks consist of coffee, massive amounts of junk food and bread and cake, new songs on my playlist, and my mind going off to goodness-knows-where. will be updating this post with rad songs i've been currently listening to later. Gotta have my coffee to perk me up now!

so what goes well with coffee, you ask? Macaroons! Sugar-filled, buttery, coconut filled Macaroons! Goldilocks' Butter Macaroons still taste the same from how i remember them many years ago, which is a very good thing because these are crazy yummy.

And here's the song list, as promised:

• A Fine Frenzy - Borrowed Time
• Adrianne - 10,000 Stones
• Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts
• Ingrid Michaelson - The Way I Am
• Matt Wertz - 519
• Natalie Imbruglia - Shiver
• Sara Bareilles - Gravity
• Secondhand Serenade - Something More
• Tyrone Wells - Sea Breeze
• Howie Day -Weightless

I miss Xanga's Currently Listeing To/Reading headers, complete with the album art or the book cover. i wish Blogger would provide gadgets like those so i could flood this blog with books and music like a mad person.

since i'm at work (and it's a Sunday. a S-U-N-D-A-Y), i figured the fastest way to post something interesting is to post pictures which are taken from my phone.

DSLRs aren't the only cameras that can take neat pictures yo'!<3

the thing about circumstances is, people always have to make sense of it. they go for the long, straining process of dissecting sentences, of glances, of the silence, of the reason for the sudden change of tides because they fear the short, simple task of asking. because that simplicity in itself is what's terrifying--when layers and layers of conjectures, of thoughts and questions are abruptly stripped and rendered useless. it's like driving a hundred miles an hour without brakes or seatbelts on; there's no safety, nothing to stifle the inevitable impact of grasping the truth in all its aching glory. and like all accidents, like car crashes, not everyone makes it out in one piece.

pictures, and pictures of my prized possessions! before i get back into writing or doing homework for my violin lesson for tomorrow.

my "baul" of books. lying on the floor are newly brought ones from last week's book sale. as you can see, i have no more space to put my new stuff. sob.

my not-yet-used polaroid! i'm still hoping and praying they start manufacturing the films again so i could use this one day. pleaaaaseee Polaroid, pleeaaaaaaaaaaaseeee bring those films back!

my violin, Lestat (thank you Eltz!!!) the first violin i had was named Stefan. both of which are names from Anne Rice's works.


and my room!=]



i miss bum days like these.>:D

for the few days ahead.




au revoir!:)

so this.. this is what you call being at the right place, at the right time. aka a lucky shot.

and then some..

kids are fun to capture, they don't care if they look silly or carefree so long as they're having fun.:)

Incorporating the word phones into a poem..

[8:53am]

i'm starting to think,

that phones are lifelines

mapped under our feet,

and over concrete electric posts.

like a web sprawling

ceaselessly,

for another end to hold itself onto.

and this pattern of numbers,
of 8s, 2s and 3s
paves the difficult route
to a familiar voice
a laugh,
miles away yet close enough
to reverberate echoes at 2am,
of the Hows, Whys, and What Ifs.

there'll always be things we wonder about at the dead of the night.

***

side note: the 8s 2s and 3s were part of our house's old phone number. i decided to use it here cause it just fits the poem perfectly like an old pair of cherished gloves. writing's amusing that way.:)

i've been trying my hands on photography for a little while now. i think it's important for a writer (or a frustrated writer) to know a thing or two about photography.. all because there are times where words do not suffice to describe a moment or fully capture its essence, like a picture can.

and yes i know, i need a lot more practice before i get the hang of it. but until then, wait and enjoy!