musings and whatnots

everything becomes painfully clear now.

i've promised myself a thousand times before that i'll never let myself sink in too deep again. that i wouldn't make the same mistake i did before with you. and i thought that that part of my life was over already. i have had enough of relapses that remind me of what happened--had enough of nights wondering why it happened that way. my heart's tired enough already. i know you feel that way too somehow.

but you still find a way to hurt me, even though you're not a part of my life anymore. and i'm sorry, but it just makes me hate you a whole lot more.

and i hate myself too, because i loved you. i really did. even though you said and still say otherwise.

"perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically... to those who hardly think about us in return."--T.H. White