what i've been doing these past few days:

x staying up until twelve-ish something.
x waking up at wee-hours of the morning to typeandtypeandtypeandtypesomemore.
x supporting santugon[derecho!].
x cutting classes[which was my first time last thursday. cause of.. PFHT!].
x crashing into markslashkevslashardan's condo. best place to sleep: the couch!
x staying in LaSalle until eight or nine[taft's beautiful at night.].
x contemplating. which i do like, ninety percent of the time. hah. kidding.

tiredtiredtiredtiredBUTi'mhavingFUN.

i never said i was strong.

i only said that i was trying to be.

i feel so much like a thirteen year old again. i miss this feeling. i miss THAT.

xoxo

because when you have just started taking the wheel and you find yourself in this thick fog with no one else by your side, it's your choice that matters. yours only. and deep inside you know nothing will change if you won't make a move. look for the road you were meant to be in, don't waste time asking yourself why you're in this circumstance because shit happens to everyone. you have to face it. grip tighter on the wheel and step on the brakes. you'll be out of that haze in no time.

i won't always love what i'll never have. i won't always live in my regrets.

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours." -- Ayn Rand, "Atlas Shrugged"

xoxo

i can't take it. i failed to abstain on chocolates. it's my drug-free prozac. HAHA. oh well. i sketched and soundtripped the day away. it's amazing what someone can do with free time and a brooding artistic mind. it wasn't long before my room became a lilttle museum of my heart. books here and there. cds stashed neatly in my closet. photographs and art; not just of people but of places and things that remind me of what life is all about. words and phrases--lots of them--displayed on the walls and mirrors. most of them were questions. in a funny way they became the answers too.

now all i have to do is keep people away from my room. it's too blunt to be seen by anyone especially my parents. seriously. it's sad that way but that's life. that's what teenagers like me usually do. oh don't tell me i'm wrong. haha.

okay. in their document, ECM-BSA requires a CGPA of two. mine's two-point five [considering that i'm currently enrolled in ECE--you get the idea why].

and i f*cking did not make the double majors. why? cause the accountancy department reasoned out that i had a CPGA lower than three. f********ck. i-effing-want-to-shove-that-f*cking-ECM-BSA-requires-a-CGPA-of-2-paper-down-all-their-skanky-accounting-asses-for-all-i-care.