One Tree Hill is looooooooooove. the soundtrack is just as loveleeeeeeee.

i miss the feeling of white sand under my toes. i miss the music the waves make when they hit the shore. i miss the smell of fresh crisp sea, the sparkle they make against the sun. i miss watching the sunset alone even if i look like a loser in doing so. i miss the heat. i miss boy-watching. tee-hee.

i wish i could get away for the summer.

take me with you.

everything paid off. though others didn't make it--all the hard work was worth it, still. congratulations santugon!

everything becomes painfully clear now.

i've promised myself a thousand times before that i'll never let myself sink in too deep again. that i wouldn't make the same mistake i did before with you. and i thought that that part of my life was over already. i have had enough of relapses that remind me of what happened--had enough of nights wondering why it happened that way. my heart's tired enough already. i know you feel that way too somehow.

but you still find a way to hurt me, even though you're not a part of my life anymore. and i'm sorry, but it just makes me hate you a whole lot more.

and i hate myself too, because i loved you. i really did. even though you said and still say otherwise.

"perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically... to those who hardly think about us in return."--T.H. White

whaddaya know..

suddenly everyone's wearing drama.

summer's coming but i'm not feeling it. and i don't think i'll ever feel it. i want to paint my room. i want to go to driving school. i want to work for my mum for $$$. i want to go to the beach and get a tan. i want to shop. i want to read lots of books again. i want to finish learning the guitar. i want to find new cds to listen to overandover. i want to swim daily as a sport. i want coffee--and chocolates too. i want an ipod and a laptop in my room. i want an esteem makeover. i want an effing reunion[trese, physci, onebandonesoundgroupoffriends, SO, where are you guys??]. i want to sketch my feelings out. i want to write everything that my heart yearns to explain. i want to forget everything else bothering me. i want a break. i NEED a break. i wantandneed you.

okay. i'll shut up now.

eeek. stupid dream. STUPID. stupid me for remembering it.

6,470,818,671

and sometimes, all you need is one.